Carry On This Far
by ficking56
Summary: Skye's POV...with her feeling guilty.
1. Chapter 1

**First of all, thanks for reading! Please review if you have time.**

**This is just a short piece that I wrote as I was thinking about the guilt Skye might feel looking at Josh. Sorry if there are any mistakes, I was extremely tired when I wrote it. As if that's a good excuse:)**

**Title taken from the lyrics of "Torn" by Creed.**

**I own nothing**.

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><p>Skye's heart pounded—a horrible, methodical reminder of the guilt.<p>

She could see Lucas everywhere.  
>In the shadows, in Commander Taylor, in the pain seeping from the people of Terra Nova.<br>In the mirror, when she looked into her own eyes, she could see him.  
>She hated it.<br>But something in her also _wanted_ to see him.

She saw Josh everywhere too.  
>His eyes were so sad.<br>No, they weren't sad. It was more like there was nothing in them. Empty, lifeless.  
>Something inside of her did not want to see Josh at all.<p>

The explosion.  
>Kara's death.<br>Lucas and his master plan to come back to Terra Nova and ultimately destroy his father.  
>It was all her fault.<p>

_"I want us to be friends."_  
>He had used her nickname. Reminded her of the need to keep her mother safe. Touched her hair.<p>

_"I'm so close."_  
>The buildup. The panic had risen in her chest, and as the weight of the possible consequences had hit her full force, she had crumbled.<p>

_"It's not safe...they're coming." _  
>Skye had already done it once. But there was no way to go back in time. They were really coming.<p>

_"And I have you to thank." _  
>She had told not a soul of her involvement in the impending destruction of Terra Nova.<br>But she was all to blame.

There had been pieces—_pieces_—of Kara scattered all of the ground. They'd had to pry her severed, charred hand out of Josh's grasp after her remains were brought back to the colony.

But Lucas had touched her hair. He had said that he cared about her.  
>Skye used the memories of his touch to block out Josh's desperate cries.<p>

And it was all bearable until Josh walked into the room again. There were no excuses she could come up with to combat that cheerless, coping smile he put on.  
>Because after all that had happened, he didn't know. While Skye struggled with the guilt that lapped at her sanity, Josh tried to move on.<br>He believed that his new road led to Skye.  
>But hers led somewhere else entirely.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: The format didn't turn out exactly as I wanted it to...but I hope you still got through it okay! Please let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, I am so flattered. for those of you that reviewed-thanks! I am truly grateful that you liked my silly rambling story enough to tell me so.**  
><strong>I did not want to continue this at all and did not expect a single person to read it. However, I couldn't help myself in the end. So I guess here's chapter two. Who knows where it's headed.<strong>

**I never intended to write anything from Skye's point of view...it just kind of happened.**  
><strong>I'll try my best to make this into a story with some kind of plot, but don't hate me if I can't pull it off. :)<strong>

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><p><em>She could see Lucas everywhere.<em>  
><em>In the mirror, when she looked into her own eyes, she could see him.<em>

Skye stumbled into the bathroom. She was groggy and it was dark outside.  
>She didn't know what had caused her to wake up. She usually slept through the night.<p>

Now she looked in the mirror and tried to remember what she'd been dreaming about.  
>A person.<br>Someone she knew. Her mother? Josh?

Lucas.

She'd been dreaming about Lucas.  
>She couldn't get him out of her head. It was as if he lived in there-rattling around in her brain, manipulating her thoughts as if they were his own mathematical problems.<p>

Skye turned away from the mirror, trying to sort things out.  
>What was it about him that captured her attention? The very first time she'd seen him, she'd felt something strange. At the time, she'd passed it off as fear. He was, after all, the commander's notoriously evil son.<br>But now she wasn't so sure.  
>She certainly hadn't been afraid the second or third time they'd met.<p>

And Skye couldn't help but smile at that thought.

Sighing, Skye turned back towards the mirror.  
>Instead of her own reflection, she was met with the figure of a man.<p>

It was as if everything was happening in slow motion.

She screamed.  
>She closed her eyes.<br>She steadied herself.  
>And she opened her eyes again to confront the stranger in her bathroom.<p>

He was still there.  
>Then Skye realized who it was.<br>_Lucas._  
>How had he gotten in here? And why did he look as terrified and confused as she felt?<br>Skye reached up to rub her eyes and saw Lucas do the same.  
>That's when her hands touched her face and felt stubble.<p>

_She_ was Lucas.

Skye woke up sweating and tried to remember the strange dream she'd been having.

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><p><strong>AN: I'm still not really sure where this is going, but I will at least finish it. **

**Please tell me what you think? I'll give you cake!**


	3. Chapter 3

_She saw Josh everywhere too._

Skye heard her name being called and stopped short.  
>"Hey, Josh."<br>She turned around to greet him with the most genuine smile she could muster.  
>He didn't seem to notice when it faltered.<br>"Hey Skye. Where were you going?"

Skye's heart rate quickened.  
><em>I was headed OTG. I want to find Lucas. I need to ask him so many questions. I think I have feelings for him. And while I'm confessing things, I helped blow up your girlfriend.<em>  
>She looked into Josh's eyes.<br>"Nowhere, really."

They stared at each other for a moment.  
>Josh shifted on his feet.<br>"So, do you...I was wondering...you wanna hang out right now?"

Skye bit her lip. All she could think about was getting as far away from Josh as possible. She couldn't keep at bay the immense surge of guilt she felt every time she was near him.

"I can't. I promised your mom I'd pull an extra shift, and..."  
>Lying came so naturally to her.<br>Lucas had told her it suited her.

"Oh. Okay."  
>Josh was disappointed.<br>He also looked like he didn't buy it.  
>His eyes were searching.<p>

Skye turned and headed the opposite way of where she'd been going.  
>Josh let her go, something that came as a surprise.<br>Before, Lucas, before the invasion and the bomb and Kara's death, he wouldn't have done that.  
>As she glanced back at him, she saw the emptiness taking over again.<p>

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><p><strong>Eh, I wasn't really feeling that one. It's just not as fun to write about Josh for some reason:) But still I would appreciate your feedback. Tell me what you think!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

_"I want us to be friends."_

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><p>In the beginning, the idea of the Skye being friends with Lucas Taylor had been...unimaginable.<br>As soon as the words had been uttered, Skye had wanted it.  
>But she also had been terrified of the idea.<p>

It became one of her many, constant, inner-battles.

Her first priority had been to keep her mother safe.  
>As she reflected back on the information she'd gathered for the Sixers, she was extremely relieved that she'd been able to find a way to only give them bits and pieces of it.<br>In a way, she had been fooling them—and Lucas.

But she'd still made a...friend…out of the experience.

The words he'd said were so simple. They had come at a time when she needed exactly what they were offering—a friend.

And one who already knew what a terrible person she was.

But Lucas was more than a friend.  
>Or at least he wanted to be.<br>She wanted something more too.

It was just a matter of figuring out how to do it. How to sneak out of the colony without anyone noticing. Which was impossible.

Skye wondered if Lucas would find a way to get to her.  
>He seemed like a man who was more than capable of sneaking in if he wanted to.<p>

She shivered at the thought.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reviewing everyone! Again, I really appreciate it:) Sorry it has taken so long to get this chapter up...I have been having trouble uploading for some reason.<strong>

**Anyways, it's here now and you just read it and I will get the next one up soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

_"I have you to thank."_

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><p>She was all to blame.<br>It was the first thought she had when she woke up in the morning.  
>She had been <em>thanked <em>for the break-through in Lucas' plan. Thanked for helping bring an army through the portal.

Thanked for blowing up Kara.

A knock on the door startled Skye and she quickly wiped away the tears she hadn't realized were running down her cheeks.

"Come in."

It was Josh.  
>Skye gave him a tentative smile as he joined her on the small sofa.<p>

"What's up?"  
>"Nothing much. Why are you here so early?"<br>"It's not that early. Did you just wake up? Is that why your eyes are all puffy?"

Skye blushed and turned so that she wasn't directly facing Josh, mumbling something along the lines of "Yeah, I guess so..."  
>Before she could say anything else, Josh started talking. He looked like he was determined to make a point.<p>

"Skye, you've been avoiding me lately. Don't try to deny it, there's no other way to explain how you've been acting towards me. I just want to know why."

Skye didn't know what to say. Josh continued.

"Is it because they found out you were the traitor? Because I don't care about that, I really don't."

She knew the lies would come naturally as they always did.  
>She let her fear and guilt do the talking for her.<p>

"That's not it at all. I mean, not really. Josh, things have been hectic around here lately and...I don't know, I guess this is just how I'm dealing with things."

Without warning, Josh leaned in and kissed her.  
>For a second, she kissed him back. But something made her pull away.<p>

"Josh, I can't."  
>"Why not? There's something between us."<p>

All Skye could think about was Kara, and getting away from Josh as soon as possible. The guilt was surging up again and she didn't think she could hold in the tears much longer.  
>She needed to say something to him that would hurt him enough to make him leave.<p>

"I don't want to be your rebound. Now please leave before you ruin our friendship completely."

A dejected Josh got up and walked out the door.  
>It had worked.<br>She wondered if he'd left without a fight because what she said had been true.

Her mind jumped to Lucas and the last time she'd seen him.


	6. Chapter 6

Skye had been trying to fall asleep.  
>Josh's face was burned into her brain.<br>She tried to change it to Lucas' face.

When it got really bad, Skye remembered the way it had felt when Lucas had kissed her cheek.  
>It was the only thing that calmed the guilt that literally made her tremble, the voices that bounced around in her head, the images of flying pieces of burning flesh...<p>

_The pieces of Kara..._

She also imagined the sound of his voice.

She could almost hear the things he had said to her.  
>She blocked out all of the bad stuff though. Instead, she visualized his lips as he said her name.<p>

_"Skye...Bucket."_

It was almost enough.

Skye was restless. Her room was hot and stuffy.  
>She considered opening a window.<br>She was too tired. She was falling asleep, entering into a dream...but just barely.

And then there was a figure standing over her.

Skye screamed, but it quickly faded as she realized who it was.  
>Lucas.<br>Here. In her room. In the middle of the night.  
>All she could do was lay there and look up at him.<p>

"Hello Bucket."  
>"Is it really you?"<p>

He laughed at this.  
>"Of course it's me. But listen, I don't have much time before I have to get back."<br>"Get back where—?"  
>"—Not important. Now listen to me, I need to tell you something. I want you to meet me..."<p>

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks again to everyone who has been reading this and has added it to story alert and whatnot. I wrote this chapter within a matter of minutes, so hopefully there are no mistakes. It's just that I have so much to do, you know how it is!**

**Have a great day:)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So, I'm just realizing that Skye sleeps a lot in this story. I'm not sure what that's about! Haha, let's just look past it for now...**

**Anyways, thanks for the billionth time for everyone who has left a review! I hope you guys are still enjoying it. Or at least still reading it...:)  
><strong>

**Here's chapter 7.**

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><p>Skye woke up to someone knocking at her door.<br>"Skye! Are you in there? There's something I want to tell you."  
>It was Josh. She didn't answer.<p>

Instead she tried to recall what had happened last night.

Lucas had been here.

Had it been a dream?  
>Skye didn't think so. There had been something so real about him...the warmth of his hand as it had brushed her forehead had been so tangible.<p>

Skye thought about what he had said.

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><p><em>"I don't have much time before I have to get back...<em>_I need to tell you something. I want you to meet me..."_  
><em>"Meet you where?"<em>  
><em>"Outside of Terra Nova. Come be with me. Get away from this place."<em>  
><em>"What if I don't want to leave?"<em>  
><em>"Skye, I've been watching you. Don't look so surprised. You're miserable here. You're barely holding it together."<em>  
><em>"Says who?"<em>  
><em>"Says anyone with two eyes. As soon as i stepped into your room, I heard you crying about the Shannon kid in your sleep. And someone named Kara."<em>  
><em>I wasn't even asleep..."<em>  
><em>"Either way, you're falling apart."<em>  
><em>"I just—"<em>  
><em>"Meet me by our tree...you know the one, right?"<em>

_Skye had nodded and closed her eyes. She was still trying to figure out how Lucas Taylor had gotten into her room. When she had opened her eyes, he was gone._

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><p>Skye realized that Josh hadn't gone away when she had failed to answer the door.<br>He was still knocking.

Her heart leapt. The usual whirlwind of thoughts ran through her_—is he here to tell me he knows everything, and he hates me? Is he going to say he never wants to see me again? Or worse, is he going to forgive me and try to kiss me even though his eyes still look sad?_

Josh knew he was in here.  
>She grabbed a jacket and her bag and snuck out the back door.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Skye couldn't believe this was actually happening.

She didn't want to live anymore. Not with these people. They told her that Lucas was consuming, molding, controlling her mind.  
>She wanted him.<br>Every waking thought was him.  
>Every dream was him.<p>

Every breath was him.

The guilt she felt when she looked at Josh now felt dull compared to the way her heart pounded for Lucas.

She knew what she had to do.

She ducked under the gate and headed into the surrounding forest.

Within minutes she was at the edge of a cliff. It was one of the only ways down to the place Lucas had told her to meet him.

She wondered if she should be having second thoughts.

But it didn't matter anymore. She needed to move—though she still wasn't quite sure if she was being propelled away from something or towards something.

Skye stepped up to the edge of the cliff.

"Skye, no!"

_Josh had followed her here._

"Why did you come, Josh?"

Why did _you_ come, Skye? You're not leaving Terra Nova, are you?"

"Please just turn around and go home."

"Skye, don't do it! I need you—we all need you! I know that you might not believe it, but…

Josh's pleas were distant and unimportant.  
>For everything he said to her, she had an instant response. She couldn't help it. She didn't care anymore.<p>

"Skye, I love you!"  
>"You deserve better anyways."<p>

"I know why you're out here…Lucas got to you somehow!"

"So what if he did?"  
>"He's not even alive! Lucas is dead."<br>"I don't believe you. I saw him last night."  
>"No, Commander Taylor killed him three days—"<br>"He came to me. Now I have to go to him."

Josh was silent for several seconds.

The lack of a reply from him confused Skye—why wasn't he being so adamant all of the sudden?

She spun around.


End file.
